Sophie Brown

What was your relationship to exercise before you started strength training at Fitology Hub?

I honestly used to think I was faulty. I felt my body was this limby, lanky thing that just broke all the time. I was always very accident prone and I've broken a lot of bones - I mean A LOT of bones. I had thirteen breaks just at primary school! I once even broke my arm falling over in the hospital car park, on my way home from getting my cast off from a different break!

I always felt like my brain and body were very separate and that my body was something I had no control over. I thought that there was something innately wrong with me and I had pretty much completely disassociated from my body. I had internalised everything so much that I had almost got used to feeling like I was the problem.

I didn't think I could cope in an exercise class with millions of instructions and numbers being thrown at you. It was working with Amber that helped me to see that there was nothing wrong with me, I just needed something different; I needed Fitology Hub!

How has strength training and being a member of Fitology Hub impacted your life?

Strength training has given me a connection to my body I didn't think was possible, but, for me, I don't think that could have happened anywhere other than Fitology Hub.

Before coming here, I had tried exercise classes and having a PT, but it wasn't the same at all. It was always just some sporty guy, who had probably loved PE at school, and who didn't have a clue! Not that they were unkind, but for them it was easy and they couldn't understand that it wasn't the same for me. They always acted like it was their job to keep pushing me and pushing me: to be more "motivated" or more "disciplined" - more like them! It was like they were trying to create a battle between us. If I said, "That doesn't work for me," or "that doesn't feel right," they would still continue the same way, with no adaptations, no changes in style or tone. They didn't understand me or what suited my body and it felt like I was just a problem. It always felt like a punishment. I would always leave feeling so ashamed. It felt like those sessions actually created shame! It's the opposite of that here.

Being a member of Fitology Hub has been... oh my god, I feel like I'm going to cry saying this! Fitology Hub has given me so much. It has given me friendship, support and understanding. It has given me a confidence that I didn't think was possible, or that I could be capable of. It's given me a physical space in my week where I can go to look after myself. I live on the other side of London, so it's part of my routine to listen to a podcast on the train journey there and back; to have some time to be quiet and reflect, which I just wouldn't get otherwise.

I have a very frenetic and demanding life. I'm a freelance creative with neurodivergent kids, so there's always a lot of firefighting and it can be too easy to put myself and my needs at the bottom of the pile. It's so easy not to prioritise myself.

Fitology Hub is such a safe space for me. The kindness and compassion I have felt here has made me feel safe to try things. They understand about hormonal changes, perimenopause and hypermobility. They understand that if I haven't slept properly or if I'm under huge stress that I might need to be gentler on my body that day. They understand that my dyslexia and ADHD can sometimes mean I need instructions repeated or explained differently, or that my hypermobility means I need some exercises adapted or changed, and it's never a problem. They understand that sometimes just showing up can feel like a miracle in itself! I am always met exactly where I am that day. I can be myself entirely and I always feel better after coming.

The ethos of Fitology Hub extends to the entire community. I love my usual 4:1 group, but I also know that I could go to any session, with any trainer, and feel just as safe and supported.

Fitology Hub has helped me learn that my body is capable and that I am not broken. There was never anything wrong with me, it was just the environment that needed to change and now that I've found it, I can't imagine life without it.